The spirit quest began as a sexual one in a way--at least for me. I don't like the way organized mainstream religion acts as though sexual pleasure is a temptation from the Devil rather than a gift of the Divine, and while I believe there are many truths in the Bible, the ultimate divinity of the love of David and Bathsheba (they were punished for betrayal of her husband and his murder, not simply for enjoying sex) and the Song of Solomon are among them, and I will not worship the God that the Church insists on Him being. We are sexual creatures, and when sex is good it brings us closer to the Divine--sex itself is the ultimate of meditations (as Spirit pointed out to me recently when I asked how he believed in daily meditations I had never seen him undertake--he chooses to worship through sexuality and the quiet contemplation of life and love).
So I was thrilled when reading Everything You Know About Sex is Wrong to find an essay on transcendent sex. As I wasn't even reading for specific spiritual enlightenment, it felt like coming full-circle simply through the Universe smiling down and saying, I know it's hurting you now to believe something other than the mainstream, but in the end, you're right. Dr. Jenny Wade's book on the subject is now a top-priority purchase for me. As soon as I get the gas bill paid, I have a minor online buying spree to undertake. Also, note to me, look more into Taoist and Tantric sexual practices (more book-buying I'm sure--I guess I should be glad I don't have an Amazon.com credit account of any kind. I'd owe them my soul by now. Of course, once I paid up on that, spending eternity in a book archive wouldn't be so bad...)
Extatica also has this article on intimate relationships as a path to the divine. The transcendant sex site has a couple other links that make me feel as though I'm being swept up in a powerful current of raw power, but unfortunately, I can't afford to investigate too deeply (a university program on spirituality that offers remote courses, a program with a $10/month subscription fee, and a resort in Big Sur with some intensive, expensive courses of study that look as though they connect the physical to the Divine).
This is how I have always felt--that the mingling of souls is the really meaningful marriage, that the rest is about benefits and trappings. Those are necessary, of course, in this world. I don't agree with most of the rest of the intent of the site and links--several are directly contrary to most of what I'm discussing in this post, stating that absolute faithful monogamy in a Christian context is the only sort of sex with meaning, and debated for a while whether I wanted to link to that at all--but read the first bit. Really.
Here's another link on transcendent sex (they all go back to links to or reviews of Dr. Wade's book). While you're on the site, poke around a bit. Warning: Site is badly designed for non-IE browsers, so the NavBar won't work in others. The one on people whinging about preplanning for sex got me. Complaining? Have you ever spent a day or a week planning for a sexual experience bit by bit, buying a lube here or some lingerie there, putting it on and bathing slowly, better yet having your partner plan out your sexual experience over that time, dropping you hints and teases, so you spend hours or days in a state of heightened sexual awareness...? If you complain that the sex at the end of that is less "spontaneous" and thus has something taken away, then there. Is. Something. Wrong. With. You. Spontaneity is not how you heighten excitement and sexual awareness. Anticipation is.
I am bored