Monday, December 10, 2007

Posting for class

Research Paper

“She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft”

December 6, 2007

“Pretty soon there’ll be more divorces than marriages!” was the dire prediction of Sharon McKendrick in The Parent Trap (Golitzin & Swift, 1961). Divorces are hard on families, and similar predictions have been made since divorce lost most of its stigma in the mid-20th century. Divorce is bad for all parties in a family, though at least one party must feel that the continuation of the marriage is a worse proposition. There is a stereotype that women get the worst of divorce, but when large settlements and alimony are paid out, it is usually by men to women. Although there has been a change toward women paying money to ex-husbands and although both men and women suffer financially from divorce, men have traditionally been and for the most part continue to be the relative losers in our “family court” system where matters of divorce are concerned.

There is a long-held thought that men are more capable of taking care of themselves financially. That expectation means that men are often expected to continue to provide support for their ex-wives after divorce. It is usually the woman who initiates the divorce (Griffiths, 2007); men are hit multiple times financially through their ex-wives’ legal actions. Divorce is commonplace enough that it is thought by some experts that the overall expected outcome for a man getting married is negative despite that married men are happier and live longer than single men. It is a common recommendation that a man planning to marry should protect himself with a prenuptial agreement. Some experts go so far as to recommend that men never marry at all (Smith, 2007).

Divorce outcomes for fathers are even worse than for men who have not had children with their wives. They gain sole custody of their children only about ten percent of the time, compared to women gaining sole custody over half the time (Huang & Garfinkel, 2003). This is, of course, another hit to the wallet through child support requirements. Those men who try to be honorable and support their children from the beginning of divorce proceedings often manage only to find themselves at a disadvantage in the legal proceedings and wind up paying even more. Interestingly, even when custody is fully shared between the former partners, one parent (again usually the father) can be made to pay child support to the other. (White, 2007)

Child custody issues have more than a financial impact. Losing custody of one’s children increases the social and emotional impact of an already-traumatic time. There is often a perception that a non-custodial parent, which a divorced father becomes in over half of cases, is unfit or unworthy to parent his children. As an Ontario court judge put it in the case Brook v. Brook (2006), “A non-custodial parent is frequently perceived in the community as undeserving or unqualified to have custody of his or her child; and this perception is not always accurate.” Many good fathers are made to feel like “deadbeat dads” because of a system that favors mothers and expects that men are willing to step out of their children’s lives financially and emotionally.

Some would argue that most of this trauma is a result of the divorcees’ inabilities to reach a reasonable and equitable conclusion. Many people do try to reach a settlement that is fair to all parties concerned. The problem is that each party might have a different concept of what is “fair.” This leads to resentment, anger, and bitterness in even those divorces that start out amicable. As Ethan Marak (2007) puts it: “Obviously, women don't set out to be gold diggers, but divorce -- like death -- can turn otherwise good people into bloodthirsty wolves.”


Brook v. Brook (2006), 2006 CarswellOnt 2514 (Ont. S.C.J.)

Golitzin, G. (Associate Producer), & Swift, D. (Director). (1961). The Parent Trap [motion picture]. United States: Walt Disney Productions.

Griffiths, S. (2007, November 14). Sharon's view - A couple ahead of their time :[Echofeat Edition]. Northern Echo,p. 20. Retrieved November 27, 2007, from ABI/INFORM Trade & Industry database. (Document ID: 1382396211).

Huang, C. C., Han, W. J., & Garfinkel, I. (2003). Child support enforcement, joint legal custody, and parental involvement. The Social Service Review. 77(2), 255. (Document ID: 1291919241).

Marak, E. (2007). How men get screwed in divorce. Retrieved November 20, 2007, from Web site:

Smith, H. (2007, October 31). Ask Dr. Helen: Should men get married? Retrieved November 22, 2007, from Pajamas Media: Ask Dr. Helen Web site:

White, N.G. (2007, June 7). Child Support - a male perspective. New York Amsterdam News, p. 6. Retrieved November 23, 2007, from ProQuest Newsstand database.

Monday, November 26, 2007


Statistics, really:

OK, I'm a math person, mostly. But I'm taking a stats class, and here are my observations:

Of the people in my house taking the stats class, one is a math genius, and one pretty much gives up on anything more complex than multiplication.

The first one does all the homework sets for fun, even though 3-4 problems in, she's got the hang of it.

The second one does no homework and gets the first one to tutor him through labs, making comments in discussion that get him by without the homework, which is not turned in (though labs are).

Once I realized that the second and third sets on the normal distribution were all variants on "find the area under the curve between these points," I stopped doing homework this week.

Screw math. I feel like poo anyway.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Most Smartest!

As a rule, I loathe reality shows. I hate them almost as much as I hate the feeling I had when I woke up to get the kids ready for school and realized my awesome automatic alarm clock had gone on DST on the old schedule, meaning they had 6 minutes to be out the door (Pop-Tarts FTW!).

Anyway, I've now become addicted to a reality show. I'm sitting here watching last night's America's Most Smartest Model. Right now I'm watching models complain about how they don't understand anything. Except sometimes, the Russian guy complains about how the others don't understand anything. Is it just a matter of feeling superior? How can I feel superior when it's just proof that pretty people can have negative IQs and still surpass my lifetime earning potential on an annual basis? It's still funny.

Aside: CAD was funny today, too, on the pain of Guitar Hero. And speaking of video games, the lack of achievements for the second player in Eternal Sonata is a pain in the ass.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Free association

Pain pain

breakthrough? breakthrough pain is a flareup through "otherwise controlled pain"

There's no breakthrough where there's no control

there's definitely a flare

I just hurt

all over

And I had an emotional break today

I feel empty and sad

I can't tell my boss I'm better than that without crying because he's not the one I need to tell didn't even write that damned review but emphasized it's a good review I can take criticism but I have issues with this criticism

I need more

more of me
more of moo-lah
more understanding from the managers of the world, the principals, the teachers

The kid was working on college algebra for fun, wtf, what kind of purgatory is first grade for a mind like that?

I feel hypomanic, scattered, and I can't sort out what i need for documentation

I want $100000, to pay all the debts and quit my job so I can homeschool and finish my degree and that's all

Tomorrow must be better

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot? (Sex sells better if you're actually fertile at the moment! --At least chemically/hormonally...)

Hubby wants Ben Stein's new (ish) book, The Real Stars. Pick it up. It leans pro-military propagandist if you have issues with that.

I just read The Nine. Also, Make Love! The Bruce Campbell Way. Bruce Campbell and Ron Jeremy both need to write more. Their stuff makes me LOL to the point that people start commenting on my apparent craziness. Now I'm working on The History of the Ancient World. Very good, but a rather slow read. Still, I hand-sold a copy yesterday.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

You're playing with what?

Colored fonts are overdone, I know. I'm feeling weird today, though.

For adults only: Check out this "[Adult] toy or baby toy?" quiz

Thursday, August 30, 2007

I found some wedding cakes on Reddit. Geeky stuff is awesome. Did I like that equalizer shirt?

I'm avoiding the Woot-Off because they don't ship to here anyway yet I am tempted. Woot, foul temptress!

Is it time to rethink the federal government's definition of "farm?" Or is it time to start growing a "farm" on my little piece of government property out back?

It's quiet and I just got in from work. My friend is usually up now, but she went to bed, which suggests to me that the guy she just split up with is still here. Ah, well, I'll just enjoy the quiet, and I'll go to bed in a little while.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Book pimpin'

The book I've been most excited about all summer is here! Sorry, it's not this one, though I still think you should run right out and buy a copy if you're into food blogs. No--it's Super Crunchers! If you're at all interested in how numbers will affect the future of civilization across all walks of life, you must read this book.

Other recent reads I highly recommend:
God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, Christopher Hitchens
Turtledove's massive alt-hist epic, which stretches from How Few Remain: A Novel of the Second War Between the States to Settling Accounts: In at the Death
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Otherwise, I'm re-reading A Song of Ice and Fire. If you haven't read it, READ IT!

There are also a couple Lord John Grey books coming soon, which I may have read as advance copies (shhhh!)

Other books I'll probably pick up soon:
Garden Spells
Three Bags Full
Beauty by Robin McKinley
Fairy Haven and the Quest for the Wand
(Seriously, if you're a reader but don't read much children's, you're missing out on a lot)
Confessor (Terry Goodkind, November. I hate the damned evangelizing. I like most of the characters when Richard leaves his ridiculous politics to himself. I have to know what happens).

Monday, August 06, 2007

Tor all the Vampire fans out there: this one's for you!

And this is for the guys


OK, OK, enough Best Pic Ever.

I can't help but wonder if this is the solution to the transportation problems a lot of us face. If everything is an easy walk away, why do I need a car? How do they recruit for these? If one needs an accountant in about five years, please call me. Wait... this could be my dream writ large. Let's build a utopian gamer town!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

I was reading Wil Wheaton's review of The Simpsons Movie. I saw that opening night (well, the midnight show the night before). I didn't have the experience Wil and some of his commenters had. Comments were generally quiet and the audience was genuinely appreciative of the movie. It was one of the most responsive audiences I've been in since I went to a Star Trek premiere at the Chinese Theater.

Of course, if you've seen the movie, you'll have an idea why Fairbanks, Alaska was the place to see it.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Learning to walk

there's a lot of press on Fatworld; I was disappointed to see that it's not out yet.

I've been reading God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything for most of the last week. Occasionally, Hitchens gets details wrong in his overeagerness to prove that most of what religion has done is bad (recent evidence that circumcision protects versus HIV is ignored in his joining the anti-circ crowd in his belief that this is an unspeakable mutilation designed to dull sexual feeling, and I have a few "overstated" notes in the margins). However, God is Not Great may be one of the most important books of our time. Read it.


All my links are linked elsewhere when they're posted here, or at least most of them. If you ever stumble upon this blog, keep in mind that it's how I keep links for my husband and a few friends, not a moneymaker. My friends get annoyed if I IM/email them everything I find. Sometimes I just don't bother, or don't get online much for days or weeks. This is odd to me.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

DRM--magic or physics?

Why is our government being taken over by these people?

Yeah, them.

50 things to know by 50

This looks promising

Here's an interesting article (back to those people in government!) on creationism rejecting science. The thing is that those who do reject science in this fashion also turn thinking people away from faith. I lean (Feri) Wiccan; in practice, I pray to the Father-god of my youth, who asked that we keep no other Gods before him and not bow down to idols, but not to not keep other Gods, and I pray to my grandmother for knowledge of what lies beyond. I don't want to get into a full discussion of my beliefs here, but deep down, I worship knowledge--and science is, literally, "knowledge," the knowledge of the world.

I love this picture

News to teens: your parents can do whatever they want. It's mostly not to embarrass you. You embarrass them more by your constant insistence that they're--that we're--old and out of touch. I work with sixteen-year-olds who think I'm one of the coolest people they've ever met. Hell, I wasn't even cool when I was sixteen. But with an almost-teenaged stepchild and a little guy going in to first grade, I'm a student now, and I can join any web service I like.

Um. ...What?

I keep seeing pro-choice stories.

Unemployed to-do list

I'm in pain. I'm putting off going to work, Chuck left me the crappy car and it hurts to drive right now, and I'm angry today. I'm angry because I'm in pain and there's no relief and I will be limping around on vacation. The world is ridiculous.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Somehow, though I always have a million things that I think of things to write about during the course of my day, by the time I've sat down here at bedtime, they're gone.

Today like many days was a million things. I feel guilty when at the end of my days off I haven't accomplished much, but I remind myself that rest is an accomplishment. I can't keep killing myself.

There should be a new question up at the Shrieking Shack tonight or tomorrow. The polls work correctly for me; the forums do not--I can only see the first post to any subject. This is true in Firefox and in IE. No idea.

I have been feeling stupid when standing at the register lately. So many damned questions to ask--we upsell far too much; it works, but it alienates some customers. I think I may have a different position. I'd still like some feedback from my manager on what I can do differently to improve. And I've been reading It's OK to Be the Boss, and some of the advice is crazy. Cars and toasters don't take the same maintenance, so your employees don't take the same management? I had to read that particular metaphor aloud, I so disbelieved what I had read, and sparked a discussion as to whether we'd rather be cars or toasters. MB wanted to be a toaster so as to forcibly eject toast. I thought I'd rather be a car if those were the only options, but then, someone else wanted to be a blender, so I figured I'd rather be a TV set. So, the thing is, if I take this other position, I'll leave our current department weakened, I won't really know what I am doing in the new position, and I won't be a direct supervisor any more. But I feel the need to grow and to not work a job I'm allergic to. Plus it will be less mentally taxing, and school will take more of my psychic resources very soon. Wish me luck.

Wow, that was a bit, wasn't it? Maybe I need the luck.

Friday, May 11, 2007

in-game rape

Clicked linked to this old Sex Drive post on rape in virtual worlds. Regina Lynn linked to this other post about rape in RPGs--the old-fashioned kind, with dice &c. I take the author's point, but I don't agree with it all. The main point on which I disagree is pregnancy. (1) An in-game pregnancy might be necessary to some plots. (2), and this is the greater issue, sex has consequences. They are always built in to our games. If you have sex, getting pregnant is a straight-up roll (or set of rolls). There's also a sub-roll for chance of twins (on 100% re-roll for triplets, etc--once someone managed to roll four 00s in a row on that one. Ouchy!), and if you're sleeping indiscriminately with seedy types, you have an STD chance. If you feel that these are violations of your character--well, you should know what your GM/campaign's rules are in terms of sexual consequences and outcomes before you have your character have sex. As for rape per se, I can see needing to make sure sensitive players are OK with that. We identify with our characters, we start to dream and think in character over a long campaign. We cry over their losses, much as some of us have cried when our favorite characters in novels or on screen are killed off. On the other hand, we do put our characters in these situations. And sometimes, in character terms, the very worst happening is the catalyst we need to do what needs to be done.

Also, the article in question references lovers being grabbed and held at gunpoint and other things, and saying even death is preferable to rape. Are we assuming here that most gamers, and/or their characters, aren't parents? I would submit to fairly horrible forms of torture before I let my son or stepdaughter be put before a gun. And for their sake, I would rather live through almost any pain--if you have someone, something, to live for, death is indeed the worst that can happen to you.

Of course, if in-game rape is used, the gruesome details should be left to the very thick-skinned. I'd propose another way of asking permission, I guess: "Is there anything that you absolutely will not allow/accept happening to your character?" Straight-up at the outset. If you live in an area where multiple groups are available, it might also be a good sorting process.

Virtual rape is another matter; for one, if the game has a built-in ignore feature, you might not have to deal with it. But it's possible that all the other characters see it and it colors their opinion (but doing it on a public channel or open chat may also get them banned for TOS violations)--it's personal, whether that's enough. I do remember a case where someone used a built-in feature that let them control other characters--I can't find the article I read, as it was some time ago--in a virtual house, and committed very graphic sexual acts between his own and another character. It resulted in a rules change where they had previously relied entirely on self-policing, if I recall correctly, and the banning of that character. At any rate, rape in most online games is not a plot issue. It's someone using someone else for sexual pleasure without that someone else's consent. This is the essence of rape, though I do not believe it so heinous a violation as a physical rape by half.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Slate on major media's regurgitation of ONDCP's "facts," or, "Why Cricket loves Slate"

Cricket also freaking luvs Heroes. Sylar: "I've waited a long time for this." *shivers*

I have a day off ahead. So I have hours and hours of work on the computer. Nice, right?

I need to update this more. Was thinking of setting up another blog entirely, an "as I see it" on the world, but I may just do that here, too.

Friday, April 20, 2007


I've been behind on a lot of things, not least updating this. I've actually been updating my blog on MySpace, believe it or not (that links to my real persona more than I would like to do here, so I am not going to link it). In the meantime, if you'd like something to read, I highly recommend Desiderata.

Also high on my recommended list:
Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series
Harry Potter! If you haven't gotten into Harry Potter yet, now is the perfect time to start so you can be in with the cool kids at the Midnight Magic party, Friday night 20 July/Saturday morning 21 July... And if you're already one of us, read 'em again. I made some new connections this time (especially given that at our committee meeting--yeah I'm on a Harry Potter Committee so what--we saw the cover of the Brit adult edition, and apparently the cover always relates directly to the title, at least strongly implying that Slytherin's locket is a Deathly Hallow).
The Wednesday Wars. It's a teen (ish) coming-of-age story set in the Vietnam era. It's not exactly out yet, but when it is, read it.

See there? Now you have things to read when your favorite blogs don't update.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

News of the freakin' inappropriate

First, families in Holtsville, NY, looking to see The Last Mimzy were treated to the opening scenes of The Hills Have Eyes 2. Oops.

Next, south to Jersey, where a school district is investigating Pay-Per-View porn purchases to the tune of $250 made after hours on a cable box in the Union City Board of Education building ("We have five cable boxes in case of an emergency!").

Back to NY, an NYC Department of Corrections worker managed to milk $100/month out of a city comptroller's Worker's Comp account, also for porn.

Just for fun, a Google News search for Porn

Friday, April 06, 2007

This is what I think school should be.

Perhaps even college--If there were true liberal arts degrees left, where I could go back to school for two years or four and take classes as they appealed to me, not two years of iteration of what I already know because my credits are too old to count or because of all the incompletes I had or because I've learned things outside of a credit setting, and come out with a degree that shows how quick and well-rounded and open-minded I am, rather than how good at regurgitation of facts (at which, as a matter of fact, I excel, but that is not the point), I'd be back in school in a moment. Degrees as they are, on the other hand, show specialization, and at that I am not very good. I can focus on what I am doing, but I require an environment where many of my talents can be shown. I'd want a degree because it would help me get the jobs where I do shine, which are management jobs; I can show that I have all the talents and abilities of the people I supervise and train them on their duties, but also show talents for organizing myself and those others and preparing us all to do what needs to be done.

Actually, if I did have the time and the money right now for full-time school, I'd look into primary education. I know about the politics, but I'm OK at those, I'm a reasonably good teacher at all grade levels, and with younger students, there's more variety in what you teach them--and learn from them. Come to think of it, though, I wouldn't mind teaching high school math or English, either.

I know Spirit would support it, too, and if I did it in the next few years, it would allow him more leeway at retirement than me working retail. Maybe we can work it out when he does retire so I can do school full-time and work part time, or something. I just feel like I can't walk away from what I do now right now.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

I was reading Slate while waiting for some files to download from, so I ran across this article saying the Cavemen might get their own show. Can't wait!

Also, vote!

I'm really punchy. Time to try for some restful sleep, a concept I have admittedly almost given up on right now.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

This is interesting.

And for the love of God, people, I'm trying to get you your drinks in less than a couple minutes. Your sandwich is being made by someone else twenty feet away from me. Why on earth do you expect me to have you a hot grilled sandwich ready to go by the time I hand you your drink? How many places do you go where you don't expect the drinks first? If I held your drink for the minutes until your sandwich was ready, not only would I fail all our benchmark tests, you'd be even more pissed off standing there without your single-shot extra-sweet nonfat extra-whip white chocolate mocha with a pump and a half of toffee nut. Try waiting five minutes. If your sandwich has been more than eight minutes (enough time for two full rotations on the grills), then let me know, by all means. Haughtily informing me that you also had a food order when I hand you a drink is going to get you polite explanations of the process and apologies that you might have to wait 45 more seconds, but it's not going to endear you to me.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Fat rant

Who doesn't think that girl's attractive? Fat isn't a matter of weight or size, it's a matter of shape. She's got nice curves.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Blessed Ostara

I was in a wonderful fog of a place at work all night. If I had the kind of job in which I could stop and take notes of what was in my head, I'd have had some great material, but I just can't think at all.

I'd always thought in this case that the banner was actually shown at school. Sorry, but public schools have no say over what their students do on their own time. Now, the bigger news is, Pat Robertson and the ACLU are together on the same side of a U. S. Supreme Court case. I think the world may end soon.

I'm sleepy, but I wanted to post that link and wish all my Pagan buddies a Blessed Ostara.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A modest proposal

If you're paying attention, you know I'm generally pro-legalization.

So, I have a plan that will allow for legalization and decrease use among the young (ignoring the evidence that simple legalization or decriminalization will do that anyway):

1. Legalize, or at least medicalize and decriminalize, most illegal drugs. This will have the immediate effect of taking them away from the province of gangsta and underground culture, which, unsavory as the reality may be, has been romanticized beyond all reason.

2. After fast-tracked medical testing (after all, long-term data on safety isn't that hard to get once users don't have fear or prosecution), prescribe liberally for ailments mainly associated with the elderly wherever and whenever appropriate.

Voila, you have just made most street drugs as cool as grandpa's heart medication.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Let's teach religion in schools.

Happy Pi Day!

Interesting: on getting more women into adult games


So, 300 is doing what the Homosexual Agenda (r) never could and turning more-or-less-straight dudes gay?

Geek movies for this summer

Also, the last Harry Potter book, 7/21, be there or be square (and no one wants to be square on Pi Day!)

What a summer to be geeky!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

He loves sweaty basketball players

I wanted to watch the Comedy Central-aired roast of Shatner, but didn't have Comedy Central at the time. Turns out, I really missed something. Watch Takei here. (When brutha come outta the closet, he really come outta the closet!)

The problem with postage

= evil incarnate

This is the opposite of the right answer. To break email addiction, stop worrying whether your inbox is empty. That's right; just leave it there. It will wait.

Wii rocks!!!

That's all for today. Lots to do, lots to do. For those of you who deny yourselves something for Lent, take heart--only forty days to go! For those of you who'd give up sex for Lent--well, I've got no help for you. (Movies aside, some people really do it).

Monday, February 12, 2007

Any chance that I might at some point get in to 24 just died.

TWBA, as I feel like dirt today. Time for a shower and some warm jammies.

Friday, February 09, 2007

If you care at all about the state of the War on Drugs or the treatment of crime in this country, read this.

See also (linked from above article)

Since it seems to be drug war day on Reddit, here's one more

And more libertarian ideals, from the folks

I read a lot of servers' blogs, even though I'm bad about updating mine. Here's a pretty good post from Buon Appetito.

As a closing bit of interesting politics, we should have an open border so politician's kids don't have to make beds in hotels.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Site parodies day

Forget Second Life...

Create your Useless Account today!

Brains 4 Zombies

ExtortR (the real site is

And, for the obvious religious candidates:

Betty Bowers is a better Christian than you; she goes to Landover Baptist

God hates figs

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Everyone needs to read this Junkfood Science article on media spin and the creation of "epidemics."

This, too. I'm not fat to look at--on the plump side, but shapely--but I meet the medical definition of "obese" and have been damaged by doctors who refuse to see my problems as anything but weight-related, not to mention my sister, who is visibly obese but who has problems with overheating to the point of passing out on almost any exertion, along with several other medical problems.

I'm feeling pretty rotten this week, so will save the rant on doctors, recognizing that it would come out as an incoherent ramble and might name names that would get me in trouble.

Shout-out to my pagan friends, blessed Imbolc!

Imbolc recipes

This year, the bounty of spring would appear to be pizza, chicken pesto rotini, and a frozen burrito my kid decided he'd rather go to bed than eat. But the idea is there.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Amazing eBay feedback

I hadn't heard this one, but for those too young to have any idea about Shatner's turn as a Rock Star(tm), here's Rocketman

Also, White Rabbit, Star Trek-style (these two links from WWdN)

Note to the tattoo artists of the world: Don't ever do this. Seriously, WTF?

Poster, every book some guy has ever read: Good lord, that looks like a small number to me. How much do other people read? I have a vague notion that it's "less than I do," but more than that--and there's no way I would ever think of every book I've read for such a project. I'd just keep surfing and clicking. I mean, do you remember every Choose-Your-Own-Adventure you had as a kid? Every book you picked up and read at a friend's house? Of course, I was the kind of kid who'd take the novels of said friends' shelves and have them done by the end of the visit. But still...
"Conditions in Tampa were not favorable for the formation of large balls of ice..."

Danae is my hero.

Also Patti LuPone, I scored a free CD of hers at work today. Yeah!

Attention, lawmakers of South Dakota: go screw yourselves.

"You have to live in Alaska..."

I'm damned tired, and I didn't even work my full shift today, since I had to rescue my sick kid from the panicking caregiver. I guess that makes it bedtime.

Friday, January 26, 2007

42 questions to which we don't know the answers (I love the black hole one; I think Drs. Hawking, Thorne, and Preskill spend time on black hole research more as a very geeky form of gambling than to further the cause of science, and gentlemen, I love you for it)

Also, I'm moving to Virginia just so I can vote for Jim Webb.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Hallelujah, the "Think Method" isn't a joke after all!

I was looking through a ton of links, but it wasn't getting me anything I wanted to blog about. This Friday: new tats!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

OK, one more for all you pagans
sex advice for women, c. 1917

I started ranting about doctors on an email group earlier. I'm tired and in pretty significant levels of pain right now. So that's all I have, sorry.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

A note on piracy

We are the pirates who don't do anything!

No, that wasn't it.

From ArsTechnica, a couple engaging articles on piracy.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Vanity is stupid

This sounds pretty smart, though. FYI, Professor, people object to always having their birthday on the same day of the week because it might always be a Wednesday. Also, which date would we lose? Suddenly some dude wouldn't have a birthday.

Babe, it's not that I'm never happy where I am. I try to be happy with things as they are. I've been really happy living in certain areas, and I need help to make the best of remote, rural areas, but will live with them and try to be glad of everything we have. I thought we were talking about the best for us both in your stateside list, not just doing it for me. I know I'd pick some of your "not in a million years" bases for my own wants and I respect that you wouldn't like certain areas.

Also, I'm not clear on a couple things: how could you not know it got THIS cold? I can't go outside without real threats to my health and you want to make it my problem because "I'm never happy?" You talked up this area on certain bases when the reality is that (a) you knew nothing about this area and (2) you don't want to go outside and do all the things you talked up the area on, or even walk in the snow with me. And yes, I realize that "I hate it here" is an emotional overreaction, because walking out of work to stare at the Northern Lights oscillating in the sky for an hour is worth a lot, and there are a lot of good points to being up here, including the people as a whole. But there is really not much to do here. I want to learn to ski, to see a glacier with you, go sledding or snow-tubing with you, and I want you to understand why I'm sad when you call to say, "great news! I'm getting out of here to a real city where I can go out to get massages and go enjoy nightlife that it's not worth trying to find with you because I'm a homebody except when I'm somewhere with other options," or at least why that's what I hear when you don't want to leave the house but you're thrilled to go on a trip, even a working trip, that promises to be more entertaining.

I feel like I have to hold my end up, even if my end is only 20% of our income. But then I feel left out and horrible when I think I have to choose between TCB and finding time with you.

I hope you get to go. I do. I just want you to understand why it affects me that you present it as good news that when you build our lives around being at home as a family playing games, you leaving me in one of the coldest places on the planet for the coldest month of the year to go somewhere warm and fun, even potentially, even if you didn't ask for it, hurts some, and I need to talk to you about it, or it will spiral to the point of anger I can't deal with.

Also, if I'm angry and not talking, please, please, talk to me. I know there's better ways than slamming doors, but sometimes I can't figure out how to just say I need to talk to you, any more than you can figure out how to just say "hey, I need some time alone here, please go out to a movie/whatever" since you're apparently having that problem.

Just so you don't think I'm totally being a spoilsport, things I love here:
The snow;
The northern lights;
The people;
The *idea* that we could go out snowmachining, sledding/tubing, "hiking" on a glacier, or visiting the hot springs that are a half-hour up the road, or that just in being together we could go spend a night alone together with a hot tub or a hot spring;
The total lack of bugs, except for those damned fruit fly things;
Being with you, anywhere; I wasn't fond of coastal SC, but I would have lived there as long as Grandma was alive, as I'd live in Antarctica with you, if it came to it. And yeah, I'd cry about it sometimes;
The view, driving into the mountains or around town in places;
The ice sculptures that might as well be granite

There are more things. It's beautiful here, and I honor that and thank you for bringing me to it. I just want to make you understand that it's not true that I'm not happy anywhere. I just need help.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

This has been almost exactly my means of dealing with the "whys"--answer all questions until the child reaches information satiation and loses interest. Usually without actually describing the chemical properties of various bonds, but it's still exactly the right way to go about it. (1) It validates their questions and thinking processes. (2) It actually provides them with an answer to the question without making things up (DO NOT make it up, unless you want them laughed at in seven years when you assume that he's forgotten the misinformation you "taught" your toddler). (3) It annoys them as much as any parent has ever been annoyed by the "whys." ("Mom, STOP TALKING NOW!" was a major part of my child's vocabulary until he got over the "whys" and started asking more direct and thoughtful questions).